Someone I love dearly is leaving me, and I'm not reacting the way I expected. There's still a vacancy deep inside, but instead of void replacing the firm cement of his presence, there's drywall. Not terribly sturdy, but there's structure nonetheless, and honestly, this is the way it should be. He reached out to me and gave me security, gave me a home, when I needed it most. I wouldn't feel right if I couldn't do the same for others, those here already and those to come. He gave me permanence, and Ineed to pass that along. So I sit, listen repetitively to some music, and try and brace myself for the times to come.

Ok, well maybe not, but I can play five songs that I learned by ear relatively well, and I feel proud. In chronological order, they are: "Brain Stew" and "When I Come Around" by Green Day, "I Love Rock and Roll" by Joan Jett, "Inside Out" by Eve 6, and "Get Over It" by OK Go. I'm learnin' how to play this here gui-tar REAL good, without selling my soul to the devil. And while I'm thinking about it, here's something funny that's somewhat related.

Halley's been saying some awfully flattering things about me. Thanks much, Halley!

On a side note, I took a few choir buddies out to their first rock show last night, which went really well, but it occured to me afterwards that apart from the sweaty mosh pits and loud blaring music and the general camaraderie, one of the best parts about going to one of these events is coming home afterwards and taking a really long, hot shower. After soaking my clothes in sweat, it feels great to strip down and sit in an upright fetal position in the tub, letting the water rain down on me. If rain fell outside at temperatures of upwards of 90 degrees, I'd be outside lying on the sidewalk every rainy day of the year.

Tunes: "Kryptonite", 3 Doors Down; "Lit Up", Buckcherry; "I Hate (Everything About You)", Three Days Grace.

I was cleaning my room a couple of weeks ago, and came across a couple relics of my (misspent? well-spent?) youth, or to be more specific, a few years ago, although it feels like decades now. Mock credit cards, once used to play video game after video game, and a small sheet of note paper, with various doodles on one side, and on the other, the beginnings of a short skit, with an extremely caricatured illustration taking up the bottom half of the page.

Here's to you, Paul. I miss you more than words can say.

Tunes: "Forest", System of a Down; "Somebody Got Murdered", The Clash; "The Rock Show", Blink-182.

Today after church, my Dad and I were driving along towards home, and I had the wonderfully familiar and comforting experience of singing along with Dad to a favorite old song, "Romeo and Juliet", specifically the Indigo Girls version. I remember having several long discussions with my former boss Karl about which version was better, the Indigo Girls or the original Dire Straits. While I have nothng against the Dire Strait's version, I feel the IGs add much more to the song's experience. You believe the despair in the vocals, and it feels as though the guitar is your own heartstrings being plucked to shed the quiet and bitter accompaniment. Now, normally when I post lyrics here, it's a sort of cop-out, when I'm too lazy to post anything real, but I'm on a roll with this train of thought so I'm going to post these lyrics here anyway. Please forgve any mistakes, I did this by ear.

A lovestruck Romeo sings a streetsuss serenade,
He's laying everybody low he's got a love song that he made
He finds a convenient street light and he steps out of the shade
And he says something like you and me babe how about it?

Juliet says hey it's Romeo you nearly gimme a heart attack
Yeah well he's underneath my window she's singing hey la my boyfriend's back
You shouldn't come around here singing up at people like that
Anyway what you gonna do about it?

Juliet the dice were loaded from the start
And I bet and you exploded into my heart
And I forget, I forget the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Julie?

Well we both come up on different streets and they were both the streets of shame
You know they're both dirty both mean yes and even the dreams were the same
And I dreamed your dream for you and, and now your dream is real, so tell me honey,
Now how can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?

Now you can fall for chains of silver and you can fall for chains of gold
You know you, you fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
But you promised me everything, and then you, and then you promised me thick and thin
And now you just turn away and say Romeo I think I used to have a scene with him

Oh, Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above gonna love you till I die
There's a place for us, ha, I know you know this song
Now when you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Julie?

I'm so in love I'm so in love yeah

But I can't do the talk like they talk on my TV screen
I can't do a love song not the way you sung it to me
I can't do everything but I would do anything for you, oh no
I can't do anything except be in love with you, yeah now

And all I do is miss you and the way it used to be, you know
And all I do is keep the beat I keep bad, bad company
And all I do is kiss you through the bars of this rhyme
When Julie I'd do the stars with you any time

Oh, Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above I'm gonna love you till I die
There's a place for us I know you know the movie song
One day we're gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Julie, Julie, Julie

Well this lovestruck Romeo sings a streetsuss serenade
He's laying everybody low he's got a love song that he made
He finds a convenient streetlight and he'll step out of the shade
And he'll say something like you and me babe how about it?

He lies draped limply across the bed, breathing slowly. He can hear the wind rushing down the street. He can see the murky glow of the moon through the window. He can smell the skunk that has been spraying all over the neighborhood. He can feel the cold autumn chill playing across his body. He can taste the lingering barbecue in the air from the neighbors. He can sense the chill fall night surrounding him, covering him like a blanket. Yet, if he can absorb all this life around him, how can he feel so empty inside? In spite of the vibrant prescense of the world around him, how can he be so lonely? Does the shell of his body repel substance like a magnet? Or is he just too passive, too mute to attain pages to fill the chronicle of his life?

Get a grip, man. Just go to sleep and quit whining. Go on and actually live your life.

Tunes: "Acoustic #3", Goo Goo Dolls; "Black Hole Sun", Soundgarden.

I hadn't realized how far sucked into Ultimate Frisbee I was until ETHS had a five-day weekend. it's been over four days since I've played, and I'm suffering withdrawal.

I've been cleaning my room, and have come across some mementos of times long past. Lots of associative memories to wade through.

And speaking of memories, I had lunch yesterday with a munch of my choir friends, and we looked through about eight rolls of film from the England/France tour. And now, I've blocked out how abysmally maddening some people were there! Only happy memories now ^_^

I want to leave you with a quote that's been stuck in my head for a few days:

"People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands--literally thousands--of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss. The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don't know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they've been listening to the sad songs longer than they've been living the unhappy lives."
--Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

Tunes: "Manic Monday", The Bangles; "Come Sail Away", Eric Cartman; "Iris", Goo Goo Dolls; "You're So 1988", Epperley.

A couple nights ago, I went with Tim and Tyler to Nevin's Live, a small venue tacked onto the side of a local pub, for a rock show. It was quite an experience. Only about 40 people came, and the place is set up so that you walk right up to the stage, which stands around hip height. First up were the Rebel Angels, who had a cool rock sound with a distinct country vibe to it. Then the Rebel Angels came off the stage and hung out with the crowd, and the Lost City Angels took the stage. They sent out a heavy barrage of punk/garage rock. Then they came down to be with us too and Autopilot Off came on, with somewhat mellower yet fast rock. After they struck the stage, Tim, Tyler, some groupies we met there (Hi Emma!) and I hung out out front with Bill, Jonny, Duggan, Nik, and Chris (see, I'm on a first-name basis with them ^_^), talking about baseball, the punk rock scenes in various cities, and watching a very drunk Nik flirting outrageously with strangers. All in all, a very satisfying time.

Oh, yeah. We rock.

Woot.

Tunes: "Lady Killer", The Vandals.

I'm just home, having spent a great weekend at BloggerCon. Saturday night was spent out with Kevin, Joey, Joi, Boris, and Aaron. After much carousing, watching of the Sox game, and listening to Joey play his famed accordion ("Hit Me Baby One More Time"), I called it a night and went back to my hotel until the next morning, when Dad and I hit the convention. Our first stop was Halley's case study, which led a nice discussion. Then it was time for Dad's presentation on spirituality, which went well also. We stopped for a cheap pizza lunch, then met back for Joi's community discussion, complete with an IRC window on a projection screed and Halley Stealth Discoing Joi while he was talking. We wrapped up with Dave Winer talking about next year, and stopped off at Peet's for tea, coffee, and more accordion music. We crashed wih Checkers, Steve, and Sage, and just today made our uneventful flight back home, from where I blog to you now. It was great to go, meet lots of wonderful people, and hear interesting discussions and panels, but it really is good to be home.

Tunes: "Welcome To Chicago", Kill Hannah.

First and foremost, I want to send a shoutout to all my teammates on the Evanston Ultimate team who are going to Madison tomorrow for the frisbee tournment. Go forth, kick cheesehead derriére, and think of me.

Secondly, the conference has been going well, all things considered. Last night was disappointing at first, because I got bounced from the Rock The Blogosphere party, being underage and all. However, I was soon rescued by Dad, Halley, and Chris, and we went off to go hang with Joi. Today, after a keynote where our host was compared to Socrates, the journalism panel kicked off with some quite amusing introductions, such as Glenn Reynolds, "the Dirk Diggler of hit count" who gets "more hits than Adam Curry in an Amsterdam coffeehouse". The panel (Ed Cone, Glenn Reynolds, Josh Marshall, and Scott Rosenberg) raised some interesting questions, such as whether or not bloggers should get the same constitutional pretection as professional journalists. We then moved on to the education panel, with Lance Knobel, my Dad (AKMA Adam), Pat Delaney, Jenny Levine, Kaye Trammel, and Brian Weatherson. While tackling topics like how blogs are used in the classroom, I had my 15 seconds of fame as I stood for the mike and responded to another commentor, saying that while blogging students should not be put down by being told that nobody will read their blog, a certain amount of perspective should be taught. As such, I myself feel quite proud to reach my 15 or so daily hits, even though I don't reach other's standards. I received applause and laughter throughout, and afterwards people came up to me and complimented my blog, which just gives me warm fuzzies all over. We stopped for lunch before coming back to hear the Cluetrain panel, with Chris Lydon, Jim Moore, Doc Searls, Elizabeth Spiers, and Adam Curry, which brings me up to the present, as the political panel (Dave Winer, Mathew Gross, Joe Jones, Cameron Barret)is starting. For more details on the goings-on, try the BloggerCon site, and from there you can link to some of the several other attendees who are doing a much better job of recording the day's events than I.

Third, I apologize to all who couldn't reach my site earlier, the server apparently was having some downtime.

Tunes: "Always", Saliva; "Takeoffs and Landings", The Ataris; "Pills", New York Dolls; "Deer Dance", System of a Down.

My beeping watch awoke me, and as I thrashed my way out of my sheets to turn the infernal noise off, a single thought went through my head. Oh, no, not already. But, I managed to stay awake long enough to shower and get everything out the door to meet our cab at just before 5. The cab ride, while frightening (even I can stay in my lane reliably), was largely uneventful, and airport security went very smoothly, as did the flight. Dad and I made our way along the T to our hotel, where we went our seperate ways: Dad went off to lunch and schmooze with other notable bloggers, and Steve Himmer gave me a guided tour of Emerson, which looks like a top contender on my List O' Colleges. And now, I write to you, dear reader, from the Hotel @ MIT, which is geek haven. They even inlaid circuit boards into the dresser. I mean, come on. So that's what's happened so far. In a couple of hours Dad and I will head out to the Rock The Blogosphere party, which should prove interesting. Until then!

Tunes: "Rollin", Limp Bizkit; "All Apologies", Nirvana; "Name", Goo Goo Dolls.