Following Susie's lead, I, too, took the Which RENT Character Are You? test, and came out thusly:

Roger - the musician. You're a sad soul, and you
know it. If only you could express yourself in
the way you long to! Let some love in, it'll
help.


Which RENT Character Are YOU?
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Sorry I haven't blogged for a bit, I've been trying to fix some screwups I've made in the HTML on my template. Meantimes, something for your reflection...

I must not fear.
Fear is the mindkiller.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I willl permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

-Frank Herbert

The pain comes again, hurting like a slice of lemon wrapped around a solid gold brick. Wincing, he gropes around his desk for the pill bottle. Grasping it, he fumbles, trying to get the tamper-proof cap off; it finally pops, falling to the floor. He taps out two small circular pills labed I-2 and swallows them down. The phone rings, sounding/feeling like a small explosion in his head. "Hello?" He mumbles. A prerecorded voice says cheerfully, "Hi, I'm Dave from E-Z Debt Care! I'd like to tell you how you can-" He hangs up, and leans back in his chair, feeling the pressure slowly ease from his head. On an impulse, he gets up and opens the window shades. Squinting slightly from the sunlight, he beholds the odd scene: the bright sunny day, with the invisible chill sweeping through. As he smiles slightly, a friend's words rise unbidden to his mind: "Yeah, it's a messed up life we lead. But would you really want it any other way?"

Tunes: "Hotel Room", Mest; "On The Roof Again", Eve 6; "What Do You Want From Life?", The Tubes.

Ah, the life of a teenage guy in the suburbs of Chicago. Confusion, clarity, headaches, peace, and really intense mood swings. Anyway: more abstraction.

It sits under a pile of junk in a cardboard box, ageing and gathering dust. A beloved children's book, read over and over in years past, granting release from reality and opening avenues of imagination to a young mind. Now, abandoned, it seems its only purpose is to sit and take up space. The pages grow brittle and the cover, well-worn from its prior use, hangs limply from the binding. Just waiting, waiting to see whether it will be excavated and uncovered, revealed and brought out to bring more delight to another young child, or whether it will sit and rot, and slowly disintegrate away into nothingness. Only time will tell, and time is something it has plenty of.

Tunes: "Scary Kisses", Voice of the Beehive; "I've Gotta Get a Message To You", Moxy Fruvous; "Date Rape", Sublime; "Sheep Go To Heaven", Cake.

P.S. I've started linking to lyrics of the songs instead of the sound clips. It seemed to make more sense.

Teehee!

So yeah, the last few days have been pretty interesting. On Saturday I forgot to mention my first driving session, which went quite well. On Sunday I performed as Christ in the passion at church and did a good job, or so I'm told, and I went into downtown Chicago to the amazing Music Box Theater to see Cowbopy Bebop: The Movie, which was really incredibly good. Yes, the premise is somewhat far-fetched and corny, but the animation is extremely well done, especially during the martial arts sequences, and the first scene alone made me gasp with awe and double up laughing. Yesterday was kinda slow, and today my parents left town, I went out driving with Jane, and spent the evening doing geek stuff in the lab with Jane and Heather. Oh, and I'm over that breakdown i had the other day, it's all cool.

Tunes (My two theme songs, for brighter and darker moods, respectively, and both with explicit lyrics): "F*ct Up Kid", Mest; "Creep", Radiohead.

Last night I went to see RENT, which was amazing and the experience of which was just breathtaking, but something happened that night that was more subtle and probably had more effect on my life. It made me cry. And although I've gotten misty-eyed watching movies and such, I haven't really cried, had tears wrenched out of me, for a very long time. Angel dying and Roger and Mimi's abandonment triggered a leak in a dam I'd been subconciously building for months, and as a result, I am currently alternately putting my life under close scrutiny and curling in a fetal position on my bed, clinging to the comforts I have. I'm not sure where the reactions of my specific empathies with the RENT characters is leading me, but I hope it's for the better, and that I will grow stronger from enduring this emotional whirlwind.

w00t!!! I just got back from the DMV, whre I ROCKED my permit test, scoring 100%!

Tunes: "Oh Yeah", Yellow.

Urgle. Have my permit test first thing in the morning, which means I'll have to get to bed at a resonable hour, the people who were going to plan the homeschool dance party bailed and are passing me the buck, social obligations coming out the ears... blah. I think after I get home tomorrow morning I'll lock myself into my room, play some loud music, work out, and just... exist for a while.

Also in local news, I got an extremely short haircut, got to watch the season finale of Dead Zone, and am going to go see RENT in Milwaukee this Friday.

Tunes: "Everything's Gonna Be Alright", Al Green; "Iko Iko", Dixie Cups; "Sing Our Own Song", UB40.

Yes... OK. Interesting things... Last night went to a place in Skokie called the 7th Heaven Café to hear some friends play there. It occured to me after I'd agreed to come that I didn't know what kind of music they would be playing, but I reflected that Erica had shown excellent taste so far, and it couldn't be that bad. So I got there, and it turned out to be a sort of mix of folk, bluegrass, and celtic music. They were quite good, and I had a fun time. The performers, consisting of my friends Erica and Adrienne, their mother, and two friends of the family, did very well, and the audience was very enthusiastic, although they were all direct friends or relations.

On a side note, I'd like to offer for reflection some lyric extracts that have been sticking in my head from "It's A Sin" by the Pet Shop Boys, which I linked to last time.

"At school they taught me how to be/So pure in thought and word and deed/They didn't quite suceed"

"Father forgive me I tried not to do it/Turned over a new leaf and tore right through it"

After much in the way of banter, barbs, and witticisms, Tripp and I have come to the agreement that we should settle our grievances on the digital field of pacifistic contest. It's actually somewhat depressing how few options are available, however. I'd feel guilty competing in Pod Racer, although there is a shared interest in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, and I'd be more than willing to try him in You Don't Know Jack.

Tunes: "It's A Sin", Pet Shop Boys; "Little Things", Good Charlotte; "Again", Lenny Kravitz.

"Life has been good to me, got very few complaints so far. Life has been good to me, hope you're as happy wherever you are." That pretty much sums it up. I'm feeling good. I got a 96 on my test in Driver's Ed, most of my friends have managed not to get into TOO much trouble, and the weather is finally getting warm again. Yay!

Lots of tunes: "Want You Bad", The Offspring; "Hailie's Song", Eminem; "You're So Damn Hot", OK Go; "What a Good Boy", Barenaked Ladies; "Short People", Randy Newman.