No, not me (not the first two, anyway).

So. I am now safe and secure in my dorm room at Marlboro, with my wicked awesome roomates Simon and Charlie, after a fabulous week of almost-camping. I say almost-camping because a) we set up camp about ten minutes away from campus (on foot), and b) we brought a full kitchenette with us, complete with counter, sink, and backgammon board. I met some amazing people, and made fabulous bonds with them. Thanks to Seth and Colin, my hilarious and welcoming trip leaders, and my co-campers Rain, Dan, Aurie, Matt, Clare, Erin, Kelly, and Helen (dreads provided by Rain and Helen, lederhosen by Kelly). We were ostensibly there to meditate and practice yoga and so on and so forth. We ended up doing two meditation sessions and one of yoga, but the time was well spent, mostly just sitting around the continuous campfire and talking-- or, I should say, communicating, as Dan had chosen not to speak for the entire trip, leading to lots of hand gestures and the occasional jotted note. There were tears. There were far too many injuries and health issues. But there was also almost unending laughter, and there were smiles too many to count. Many of you know how my extended family structure works, and I have many new members now. As I said before, my roommates are quite cool, and our room is looking more and more like home. Our room is also only a scant 50 feet from the on-campus sauna, which I'm sure I will frequent with some regularity, especially when winter hits. ^_^ Pictures will be up on Flickr when I move to one of the places on campus with strong reception.

"No matter where you go, there you are."
-Buckaroo Banzai

This feels so weird. I've spent such good time with such good friends, and when the evenings close, I have to say goodbye. Not the usual "So long, see you around," but "Bye, maybe see you around Thanksgiving, or if not then, Christmas."

I am leaving my family to live on my own.

This is only just really sinking in.

To all those that I am moving away from (I purposefully refrain from the term leave), I offer these inadequate words: Thank you. I will always remember you, and hope that you remember me often. I love you.

I will continue to post from school, both words and pictures (not for the first week, though, cause I'll be out building a team in the woods). Please stay in touch, and I'll try and do the same.

This is the closing chapter of a deeply significant part of my life, and I'm so grateful to all of you who have helped form me into the person I am now. As this chapter ends, another opens, and the possible directions are virtually endless. We'll have to wait and see where it goes.

That's what I said to Laura as we left The Second City last night. Wow. That is some really freaking funny stuff. An excellent blend of sketch and improv comedy that flowed neatly into one huge fabulous show.

There's some carryover to today as well. I was assured by the health director at Marlboro that it wouldn't be an issue at all for me to type stuff up instead of handwriting (saving my thumb worlds of fatigue and pain). Also, I'm getting stoked about the pre-orientation camping trip I'm going on with some of my fellow students. The only real downers right now are the swiftly shortening hours with my friends and loved ones, and how much I have to pack within the aforementioned shrinking hours.

Another update coming before departure, but for the moment, more packing.

Tunes: "Zimbabwe," Toni Childs (iTMS).

A cat slinks along an alleyway at night. Its body is thin and worn, with many scars along its patchy fur. It pokes its nose into a garbage bin and is rewarded with a special treat: dinner, in the form of a half-eaten bagel with cream cheese. Purring, it leaps up to the roof of a garage and feasts upon its decaying meal, tearing into the molding dough as if it were freshly killed prey.

I was discussing this reading (Nehemiah 9:16-20) with Dad and Laura last Sunday. The summarized point I came away with is that God is always with us, and is always pointing the way. We are the ones who are left, as always, to make the right choice. God can present pillars of cloud and fire all day long, and even throw in a couple of flashing neon signs saying "Over here," but we still have to pick up our feet and walk that way. And when the path is rocky and we stumble and think that this can't POSSIBLY be a part of God's plan, we have to stop and take a look around to make sure we're reading the road signs right, because the screw-ups in this world really AREN'T just part of some universal plan. God doesn't WANT us to be cruel and fight wars and hurt the people we care about. God loves us all, much more than we can possibly imagine. God's love is strong enough to forgive us no matter how far we stray-- as long as we recognize that we HAVE strayed, and ask God for directions back to the main road (as I've sugessted before in an extreme example, to some other people's indignance). The element of choice has always been an integral part of humanity's relationship with God. God gave us free will from the get-go, knowing full well that we were just as likely to run off and talk to snakes about fruit as we were to simply frolic and play in paradise. And through every bad choice we've made-- all the way from the apple in the garden to the hundreds and thousands of sins committed daily now-- God has been unfailingly patient, ready and waiting for us to adjust our bearings and get back on track. No matter what happens, God is with us all the way. In the face of such perseverance, how else can we show our gratitude but to follow the fire and cloud that God provides to show us the way? Now I know, as Dad always says, "It's more complicated than that." But surely TRYING cannot be so complicated. and as long as we try, eventually we'll get it right.

I wrote a big long thing tonight that touches on a number of topics, but it's not really ready for public edification yet. So, until then...

RANDOM LYRIC QUOTES THAT MAKE NO SENSE OUTSIDE OF THE CONTEXT OF MY LIFE!!!

WOO HOO!!!

"And then you had to bring up reincarnation
Over a couple of beers the other night
And now I'm serving time for mistakes
Made by another and another lifetime"

--"Galileo," Indigo Girls

"Do you dream about music or mathematics,
Or planets too far for the eyes?
Do you dream about Jesus or quantum mechanics
Or angels who sing lullabies?"

--"When You Dream," Barenaked Ladies

"I pulled into Nazareth, I was feelin' about half past dead
I just need some place where I can lay my head
'Hey Mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?'
He just grinned and shook my hand, and 'No!' was all he said"

--"The Weight," The Band